From Marianne: Don't Tell Me What to Do

Bob and I were at the airport waiting to fill our water bottles when the woman in front of us pulled out what looked like a half-gallon jug.

Bob looks at her and says, "What are you... a camel?" She laughed. "No, I just drink two of these a day." Without missing a beat, Bob says, "You know, you don't actually need that much water."

I was dying.

She politely smiled and said, "Well, I'm a runner, and I actually do." Crisis averted. But all I could think was — who wants advice from a complete stranger? Actually, who wants unsolicited advice from anybody?

Not me.

Tell me what I should eat? Thanks. Tell me how I should exercise? Appreciate it. Tell me how I should raise my kids, invest my money, run my business, or organize my closet? I'll politely thank you for your time... and then ignore every word.

The older I get, the more I realize people aren't dumb. Most of us are doing what we're doing because we've thought about it, researched it, or decided it works for us.

So when did I stop trying to tell people what to do? When my kids became adults. I learned pretty quickly that "here's what I would do, but you have to decide what's right for you" works a whole lot better than "you should."

Nobody ever talked to me that way growing up. It's amazing how much better conversations go when people feel understood instead of corrected.

I'm still working on it.

Although... I should probably start by telling my husband to stop giving advice to strangers.

On second thought, maybe I won't.