Savvy Talks: The Only Things That Truly Matter in Life
Originally aired on 11/21/21 for WGN Radio 720.
Every year as we move into the season of gratitude, reflection, and reset, we start asking the same questions: Am I living the life I want? Am I spending my time the way it deserves to be spent?
A hospice nurse who spent 15 years at the bedside of more than 300 dying patients heard the answers to those questions in their rawest form. What she learned wasn’t dramatic, or cinematic, or complicated. It was achingly simple—and universally true.
In what she called “the quiet hour,” that fragile period between this world and whatever comes next, patients often spoke with a clarity the living rarely have. Their confessions, regrets, and revelations were different in detail but identical in essence.
Here are the seven truths they repeated most:
1. “I Should Have Loved More—And Differently.”
No one dies wishing they’d been tougher. They wish they’d been kinder.
One World War II veteran told her he hadn’t spoken to his brother in 40 years.
“I won the argument,” he said, “but I lost a lifetime.”
Try this:
Send the message. Make the call. Don’t wait for a funeral to say what someone deserves to hear while they’re alive.
2. “I Saved My Joy for Later—And Later Never Came.”
A man who had just retired and died three months later confessed he never allowed himself to enjoy the wealth he spent decades saving.
“I was so scared of being poor,” he said, “that I became rich in fear.”
Try this:
Use the good dishes tonight. Book the small trip. Let joy be your default, not your reward.
3. “Forgiveness Set Me Free More Than Oxygen Did.”
One woman struggled through her final hours, not from fear but from a lifetime of unresolved pain.
“I can’t die angry,” she whispered.
When her estranged son arrived, she forgave him. She passed away peacefully shortly after.
Not forgiving doesn’t punish others—it punishes you.
Try this:
If face-to-face forgiveness feels impossible, write the letter you’ll never send. Let the release be the gift.
4. “The Best Things in Life Were Free—And I Was Too Busy to Notice.”
When asked what they missed most, people didn’t say success, status, or possessions.
They said things like:
“the smell of rain,”
“the sound of birds,”
“my dog’s breath in the morning.”
A CEO once told her, “I mistook being busy for being alive.”
Try this:
Unplug for a day. Notice how many moments make you smile without screens or spending a dollar.
5. “Regret Is the Heaviest Thing to Carry.”
Failure didn’t haunt people. Inaction did.
One patient said, “I didn’t regret failing. I regretted never auditioning.”
Try this:
Write down the three things you’d most regret not doing. Start one of them before next week.
6. “Presence Is the Greatest Gift You Can Give.”
One father admitted: “I was always somewhere else, even when I was home.”
Presence isn’t just physical proximity—it’s emotional availability.
Try this:
When you eat, just eat.
When you talk, truly listen.
When you show up, show up awake.
7. “Peace Comes When You Stop Pretending.”
Near the end, people shed their lifelong masks. One woman removed her wig, laughed, and said, “Finally, I’m done pretending.”
We spend so much of our lives editing ourselves for approval. Authenticity feels terrifying—until it feels like oxygen.
Try this:
Say what you mean. Let someone see the unpolished version of you. Let your real self breathe.
What These Lessons Tell Us
The people closest to the edge of life weren’t focused on achievements, bank accounts, or accolades. They were focused on love, joy, forgiveness, presence, authenticity, and the simple moments that made them feel alive.
It turns out we’re not afraid of dying.
We’re afraid of not having really lived.
And the good news?
We still have time.